I'm one of those people who gets choked up really easy about anything sad or inspiring. I can sit and cry through a television commercial if it is one of those ones about starving children in Africa. I cry at movies all the time and I love it when I can watch a movie alone because I will just bawl.
I find myself crying a lot when I am talking to God. I just get so overwhelmed by what He shows me or says to me and I just lay there and cry for hours. People would think I was a big baby if they saw me, but I don't care. It's not that I am upset all the time or anything like that. It's just that I can get really emotional when I am with God. When I am around other people I tend to keep myself in check. At my church, we have awesome worship, but you know what, that isn't anything like my alone time with God. In my own intimate worship time, I'm there for hours, crying out, dancing like crazy, and worshipping until I am completely exausted and I end up falling asleep (lol, that's why "soaking" is "sloaking" for me, because when I soak at home it's usually from me passing out from exaustion after praying or worshipping).
I heard this story once about Smith Wigglesworth and how a pastor went to interrupt him for something during his personnal prayer time and the man ended getting knocked to the floor by the Holy Spirit and he had to crawl out of the room. That's a desire of mine, because I tend to get interrupted a lot it seems during my prayer and worship time, and so I would love it that if someone comes walking in my room that the power of the Holy Spirit would come upon them and they have to crawl out of the room. That would be awesome!
My life would be a huge mess if I didn't spend real time with God alone. I'm NOT talking about a half hour Bible reading session. I'm talking about meeting with God daily. When I haven't taken the time to meet with God, my day feels like a trash heap and I lack what I need for the day. When I have met with Him, everything just feels right. He affects my attitude, my outlook, everything! The awesome thing is that when I have had real time with Him I am spiritually awakened for the rest of the day and I can see Him do one thing right after the next all around me. It suddenly isn't this huge effort to share Jesus in a line at the grocery store and prophecy into their life, because He is at the tip of my tongue and I can see clearly. The Word just leaps out in front of me when I read it and it literally breathes life into me.
Spend real time with God. Don't give Him your leftovers. Look forward to being with Him. Make that the highlight of your day. I literally will set up an appointment with Him. I get so excited when I know I am going to meet with Him, it's like a date. I'll know that I am going to meet with Him after my morning classes, so I will literally sit through my classes thinking about Him. Be romantic with God, seriously. Don't come to Him just because you have to, but because you love Him so much that you aren't satisfied until you have been with Him and even then you want all and more of Him. Be spontaneous and do something that you have never done before with God. I have literally set out tons of candles and put on soft music and spent hours telling Him how much I love Him. I'm sorry, cheesy as it may sound to you, God loves stuff like that!!! I've put on piano music and sang spontaneous songs to Him for hours. I've sat and written poetry to Him while I talk to Him. Come on, be real with Him. Be genuine and show Him that you love Him. No one else has to know what you say to Him or what He says to you, because that's between you and Him. It's so funny that God has completely turned me into a romantic over the years because of time that I have spent with Him. The closer I get to Him, the more I learn and know and grow. He's so intertwined in my life now that He has His fingerprints on everything.
Tonight, at Tehillah during worship I started thinking about the song we were all singing "How great is our God..." Wow, I realized that is a song when we are given the opportunity to brag about our God. I love to brag about God. Get me on the subject of God and it's hard to get me off of it (as you can tell!) I'm in love with God and when I talk about Him, I always talk from my heart. It's not like when I am talking about someone I know and I say "yeah, I know that person, they play the guitar. They are cool." When I talk about God it's like "He's freaking amazing! My head just spins every time I think about Him. I love Him so much it terrifies me to think of life without Him in it!" Don't be afraid to plunge into the depths of God, because there is so much there for you. Don't be afraid to talk about Him either!
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