The Passenger or The Driver?

Have you ever had what I call "the reversal effect" happen to you in your life? First of all, what I mean is that it seems that when you go through a situation in your life, somewhere down the road you seem to get put into a similar situation but on the reverse side. Growing up, I was pretty shy. I can remember all the people who tried to reach out to me and draw me in, but I was the type that would push all attention away. Now, I feel like the one reaching out to people. God is totally awesome!! First, of all He's God, so of course He is stinking awesome, but also because He uses the situations you face in your life to make a potential difference in someone elses. All the junk I went through is now being used for God's glory. Going through those really rough times is not easy, but now when I can see how God was able to use those situations, it boggles my mind. How can that stinking aweful thing that happened, now be used to reach a soul? Wow. We are such a small part in all of this! Even our circumstance/situation is not necessarily just for us. Does that make sense? You see, down the road God takes what you are going through and impacts someone else's life. Wow. It really makes me think twice about complaining. Me feeling aweful for a day could end up being used to save someone's soul. WOAH!!! All this time I have been praying "God lead me to the souls" and getting discouraged because I am not seeing it ... He's saying "What do you think I am doing?" "But, God how can I reach anyone for you if my life stinks right now?" "Um, your life stinks? I'm not seeing that." "But, God in order for me to be a witness I can't get sick, be poor, and get into car wrecks. They have to think my life is perfect, so they will want what I have. They don't want what I have now." "If your life was perfect, I wouldn't need you in the world. I would have brought you home years ago. I don't think it is them who don't want what you have, it's you not wanting what you have." "But, God, that isn't true. I have you." "Really? Well, in that case you should have no qualms with how your life is going. I already laid it out for you what it would be like. Didn't I say you would have to carry your cross in order to follow me?" "Well, yeah, but..." "But, what?" You see, we have to stop looking at our situation and complaining about it. There are times I look in the mirror and think "ha, your life stinks." But, I go and talk to someone who has just lost everything (literaly) and I feel ashamed. What is the worst thing that can happen to you? Ok, going to Hell came to my mind, but I don't know what you are thinking. So, I know I am going to Heaven, so really no matter what happens, I am going to be alright in the end. So, my life isn't 100% how I would like it to be, big deal!! It's at least 50% right, if not less. So, I wrote out a "plan for my life" when I was like ten, give me a break! I didn't know a quarter of the stuff about life that I know now. Another thing, who sets the rules? Who says this, this, this, and this has to happen before the age of 35? Who? My God never said that, so, I am not following some rules some person came up with to make everyone's life miserable. For all I know some "high" quwack had a life crisis at the age of 25 and decided to start a "rumor" that you are "out of mode" if your life hasn't gone as planned. LOL - I mean, come on. I get so tired of people being mopey about their life. Ok, so maybe you haven't found "the one" and you don't have a dog, kids, and a white picket fence. What do you have? Stop looking at what you DON'T have and see what you DO. Imagine losing THOSE things for a moment. Now the other stuff dims in comparison. I am not saying all of this to beat anyone down, I am trying to encourage you. God did not suddenly decide one day "hey, I am going to ruin (fill in your name)'s life today." NOOOO!!! He wants you to know that what you are facing right now is to help you and not just you, but somoene else later. Take your eyes off of "the now" and see the bigger picture. A big mistake a lot of us make is seeing the bigger picture the way WE want to see it. Stop asking yourself that dumb question of "So, where do you see yourself in ten years?" Instead ask "Where does GOD see me in ten years?" God has given me glimpses of what is going to happen in some people's lives and I can never tell them what I have seen. If I told them they would first of all probably not believe me, and second they would not have asked GOD for revelation. I don't want something I say to influence anyone's decision unless God specificaly tells me that I have to tell them. I don't want to ask myself "Ok, Nickie, where do you see yourself by the time you are thirty?" Instead I want to say "I know where God is leading me because I asked and He told me." I have had people ask me why I am not freaking out about stuff ALL the time anymore (cuz, hey, I'm still learning too). Well, because I am learning to rely on God's words and not my thoughts. When He says something, we have to trust Him. We cannot waste the rest of our lives trying to figure out if we are following "the formula." Little hint: there isn't one. All you can do is say "Here God. I tried it on my own, messed up, fell, embarrassed myself, made a complete idiot of myself, repeat made a complete idiot of myself. You said to give it to you, so here, take it." It's a load off (seriously). You will be able to look people in the eye when they ask how you are doing and you can tell them "My God is in control." I don't know about you but I am not a big "wanna drive" type of person. So, if God is offering on a silver platter to take the driver's seat, who am I to argue? Anyway, it's just something to think about. As you can see, my mind has been full of 'think' today. :-)