This Direction

This past weekend I visited a pastor/friend's church. There was a man there who travels, speaking at churches and gatherings. He's a prophet and not only speaks accurate words into people's lives but moves in the gift of healing. At first, I thought about not going, but something inside of me said that I would miss something if I stayed at home. I didn't feel like dressing up, because it had been a long hard day, so I threw on a pair of old jeans and a t-shirt and wore an IU hat. As I looked in the mirror I thought as I hid beneath the hat "maybe he'll have some answers" and yet at the same time I felt like hiding and him not noticing me.
The worship service was nice. It felt great to worship God and let go of the weights I have been carrying. When Steve began to speak my first thought was "I hope he doesn't see me." The word he gave to us was very foundational and simple, but some of the things he said really struck a chord in my heart and my spirit was stirred. His message was short so that he would have ample time to pray and speak into people. He did this for a long time, going from one person to another. He'd stand and wait for a revelation and then speak. It was interesting to watch and I actually found myself learning from him. When he spoke to several people from my church I was pleasantly surprised that what he said was very accurate. I continued to bow my head when he would glance in my direction, keeping him from seeing my face. I don't know why I kept doing this. At the time I enjoyed hearing him speak into other people, but I was hesistant in him speaking into me. So, I continued to watch him make his way around the room, even prophesying over my parents, brother and sister. I knew after a while that he was going to say something to me and I would be the last person.
After he talked to my brother he looked over at me and said "this must be your sister" and Nathan said yes. Steve came over and asked my name and I answered and bowed my head. I only caught some of what he said as he spoke over me. The first thing he said was "this girl is one in a million" and then about me having a great call and needing to be careful because people will want to take advantage of that and that I had a "double portion". He said a lot of things and every one of them ministered and registered in my spirit. I just stood there beneath my bowed head under my hat and silently cried. I needed that. I needed to know that I am going in the right direction and making the right decisions. Even though everything seems so crazy, I know that when I find that peace that I can't begin to explain, God is taking care of me. In my prayers I tell God every day "You know I will go, do, or say whatever you ask of me, but I refuse to walk where you aren't at." I walk WITH Him not just FOR Him. There's such a huge difference.

When He Comes

The waves of grass bowing beneath the great winds that blow in this place, where I have found myself in countless times, makes the ground upon which I am standing seem like nothing solid. I watch the sun make its decent over the far off horizon and I feel the warm breath of evening's air begin to extend it's fingers towards me. I move towards the crystal lake before me, with it's beauty reflecting the newly appearing stars. I watch them in the sky with their song softly echoing across the valley. My heart is joined in it's tune and I sing the sweet chorus, "It is here that I am found, It is here that I surrender, It is here that I can see Him, It is here that we shall meet..." My bare feet touch the cool liquid as I make my way into its sparkling depths. I smile and laugh like a child as I watch the reflecting stars rise from the water all around me. They dance as they sing, bringing Him here. I stretch out my arms and dance with them, my feet sculpting patterns in the lake. Through the stars that surround me I catch a glimpse of the one who comes. My heart is filled with excitement and joy pours from my lips. I stand still and watch as He moves, all is silent. I breath out His name to say "You came."