Olive Tree

(I'm going to Rhode Island for a 10 day vacation & I threw this picture up, thinking about my trip!!!)

I have always had a fascination with the book of Psalms and that book has birthed within me a desire to be passionate like David when he sang to God. The verse I was led to read yesterday was in chapter 52 and it's verse 8. David says "And I'm an olive tree, growing green in God's house. I trusted in the generous mercy of God then and now." I don't know why this of all verses struck me so deeply, but it hit something deep within my heart and I asked myself "Am I growing green or am I wilting?" I pictured first this beautiful green olive tree in a glass house and the tree was thriving and full of life. Then I pictured a dying tree, wilted, and brown. My heart sank thinking about the wilted tree and my mind raced trying to see which tree I was.

So, I asked God "Daddy, am I a wilting tree?" He took me back to four years ago and told me to remember what He did for me. I knew instantly what He was referring to and I said "You held me." He asked for how long and I answered "Several hours." He then asked me what it felt like and I said "Like you were breathing life into me. You were healing me. You taught me to give of myself, to let go of the past and see my future. I have never felt so much love standing in your arms from anyone else in my life. You completed me as I melted in your love and you erased my fear. You gave me a heavenly glimpse of what it means to love." Suddenly I felt so ashamed and bowed my head. I heard the Lord tell me to "look up" and then He said "How is it possible to be a wilting tree in My arms?" I couldn't stop my tears and I said "It's not possible." He said to me softly "You are not wilting. I am pruning you within the safety of these arms of Mine. I'm cutting out and off what doesn't belong so that you grow strong in Me."

No one can or ever will come before my love with God. It may sound silly but daily my first prayer is "God, teach me to love you how you desire to be loved." Daily, He takes my hand and shows me "Come, sit with me" "Tell me why you love me" "Do this for me...let go of this for me." Yes, He asks things of me because I have learned that a true lover asks sincere things not only for their benefit but because they know the benefit it will have on you. God doesn't ask me to do things to hurt myself. Not at all!!! In fact, He asks me so that I can be protected.

The whole Bride and Groom vision in the Bible of the Church being the Bride of Christ is so perfect and beautiful. The Groom is to protect and cover His Bride and help her grow. I know that I am the much weaker vessel and I need God to teach me.

I am not a very confrontational person and I have wondered much over the past several months if that is a flaw of mine. I have asked God and have honestly gotten no clear answer other than being reminded of my relationship with Him. He has never spoken anything to me in anger and even when I come to Him, knowing I have done something wrong, He is always gentle and corrects me, but He does it in love. Again I am reminded of the verse "And I'm an olive tree, growing green in God's house. I trusted in the generous mercy of God then and now." He has never cut me down, but He prunes me so that I can mature and grow. I am reminded of His words to me, "How is it possible to be a wilting tree in my arms?" I am surrounded by God in His house, so anything spoken to me must first come through the One who is protecting me. Fearing confrontation only becomes a distraction from my God who is my strength in every situation.

God teaches me so much every day, drawing me in with every word and action He makes. But, He never makes me feel like a silly child when I don't know what to do or when I make mistakes, instead He treats me like a bride and teaches me, helping me to understand and all the while making me feel completely loved and cherished. He won't let me wilt as long as I remain in His arms. I am an olive tree, growing green under the skilled hands of my Creator.