A Heart of Forgiveness

"Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."

Proverbs 4:23

"Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding."

Proverbs 3:5

"A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken."

Proverbs 15:13

I have been reading out of the book of Proverbs and it struck me how many times the heart is mentioned. Proverbs talks about the heart being full of wisdom but also having the capabilitiy of being full of evil. "Trust the LORD with all thine heart" and "Keep thy heart with all diligence." We always put so much emphasis on the spirit, but the heart is also very key to who we are. Our mouths speak what is in our hearts. That is why it is so prudent to guard our hearts. When we allow things to penetrate our hearts that are not of God, we are pulling off the guard over our spirit. This is why the Enemy attacks us through/by our homes, families, and those close and dear to us. He knows he cannot reach our spirits head on, but he can break our spirits by first going through our hearts. Wow. It's so true though. Here's an example. A member of a church feels hurt by someone else in the church, so, they leave and completely turn away from God. Their heart was wounded and so the Enemy takes that opportunity to draw them away from God. Look at Job. The Devil tried all sorts of tactics, but if you notice, it is when Job's family was taken away that we all seem to get angry. We all know that material things are not eternal, but the thought of losing those you love is painful. Yet, Job had a guard over his heart. That guard was his trust in God. That is so key. Job knew that no matter how much he was attacked, God had a reason and He was still in control. If we allow the circumstances and the trials that we face every day to penetrate our hearts, then we set up our spirit to be broken. That is why depression happens. "By sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken." The greatest advice anyone ever gave me was to guard my heart. Now I know why it is so important to surround my heart with trust in God. You may think that is foolish because maybe you trusted God and were still hurt. I never said that you won't be attacked. The Enemy goes after our hearts more than anything else, because he knows that if he can destroy that, he can destroy you. Our hearts determine what decisions we make. "But, Nickie, that's bad. My pastor has always said not to trust my heart." BINGO!!! That's it. It's not trusting our heart it is allowing our heart to trust in God. There's a huge difference.

One way you are surrendering to your heart and another you are surrendering your heart to God.
 

When you surrender to your heart, you will be hurt. When you surrender your heart to God, He will protect and surround you. Don't confuse the two. If you have been hurt, it is not God's fault. God does not desire to wound or cause you pain. He loves you and He sent His son to die for you. One of the college students at Tehillah said that God had to bring her to the realization of "how much Jesus was wounded the day He hung on the cross." The Devil laughed at Him for trying to save a people who wanted Him dead. If there is anyone who has the right to say His heart was wounded, it's Jesus. But, his heart was surrounded by His trust in God. WOW!!!! Have you ever thought about that? Instead of allowing Himself to surrender to the pain in His heart, He surrendered His heart to God. "Into Your hands I commit my spirit." This is powerful stuff!!! Jesus had a human heart that felt everything we feel. We can't imagine the extent of how much pain his heart was being bombarded with as he was beaten, spit on, mocked, and hung on a cross to die. Yet, instead of saying, "what is the use, they all hate me," he simply said, "Father forgive them." Ok??!! How many of us are willing to do something even close to that? How many of us can say to God as we are being bombarded by words of hate and pain, "God, forgive them." Jesus said it to God concerning the entire world. Yet, we have a hard time saying that about one person who has tried to hurt us or not even tried but, it just happened.

What better way to show our trust in God than to ask for forgiveness? Not for God to forgive them, but for you to forgive and in turn be forgiven.

But, you say, "I didn't do anything, so why should I ask to be forgiven?!" The word of God says, "Forgive and you shall be forgiven." There's two sides to that coin. First side, you were forgiven by God the day that you became a Christian. Second side, you cannot be forgiven until you forgive. But you say, "what?! That doesn't make a flip of sense." Oh, yes, it does. When Jesus forgave you for your sins, God forgave your sins. When you forgive those around you, God forgives your unforgiveness. But you say, "that's just a bunch of circles of forgiveness." Yep, man, you are smart! Do you remember that verse you learned when you first came to know the LORD? "For God so loved the world, that He gave His only son." In order to forgive you have to give something of yourself. Jesus gave His life in order that the world could be forgiven. What is it that you need to give in order to forgive those around you and in turn be forgiven for not forgiving?

Holding Father's Hand

I will never forget the day my niece was born. Wow, that was seven years ago. It's hard to believe that much time has gone by. But, I remember being so excited. The day that my sister told all of us that she was going to have a baby was pretty unexpected. She had just graduated high school and she was already going to be a mom. But, she has been a great mother and my niece is a wonderful little girl. Sometimes, I look at my niece and want to pick her up and hold her like I did when she was a baby, but she's too big for that now. It's hard to believe that those little baby hands and feet are now getting bigger and bigger each day. She doesn't need anyone to hold her up and feed her or take her hands and walk her around. I can't talk to her like I would when she was so tiny anymore because now she wants me to talk to her like she is a "mature-growing-up-girl" is how she puts it. :-)


Once so reliant on those around her to take care of her every need, now she wants to do everything herself. I wait for those moments when she can't do something and so she gets frustrated and looks at me and asks for help. I love it when she curls up next to me when we sit and watch a Disney movie or Sesame Street. She still is small enough to allow me to hold her hand when we go anywhere and she still gets tired and wants me to hold her when she doesn't want to walk anymore.


I wonder how true these are the feelings of God? When we first come to know Him, we rely on Him. But, when we have been Christians for a period of time we tend to try and do things on our own. We still want Him there just in case we need help, but we want to do it on our own. God doesn't want to dictate everything we do, because He has given us the ability to make choices, but He doesn't want us to lose our reliancy on Him. He still wants to hold our hand and teach us new things. When we come to the point of "Ok, I think I have gotten this being a Christian thing down" that is when we should realize that we are trying to do it on our own. Just think about that today.

Gerbals or Gerbils?

Well - today I am supposed to have a silly fact ready for you. I am not really in a "silly" mood and I am too busy to look anything up. But, I will say one thing.

"Watch out for the secret ninja gerbals," Joshua.

"What" do you say is that supposed to mean? Hmmm - if you find out, let me know.

Priorities

My 27 yr. old sister lives in Tennessee and the other day she calls and asks me to come move down there with her. She has this really good job working as a sort of dispatcher for a trucking company and she is getting ready to buy a house for her and her daughter. She said that if I came, she could get me a job at the same company she works for and I could live with them. She laughed at me when I turned the offer down. She said that she couldn't understand why I would say no to something that could pay my way through school and so on and so forth. I told her because I was happy where I am and that money can't buy happiness. Sounds cheesy, but she caught what I was saying. She isn't a Christian either, so it's hard trying to explain to her that God has called me to stay here. It's sad that the world's concept of happiness centers around having the "good life." Yet, you can look at the people who are living this so called "good life" and they really aren't that happy. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against money. But, it's when it becomes your focus that it really messes up your life. I've seen it happen and I thank God that I am not stuck in that rut. I don't want to make huge life decisions based on how much money I will get. There was this story someone told me once of this pastor who all he had was the clothes on his back and a Bible. Wow, I can't imagine that. But, this man has experienced God in ways that I have only prayed for and dreamed about. Not that I am telling you to go sell all you have and keep one pair of shoes and so on. I am just saying that it's when our focus is off of the "stuff" of this world and on God, that is where we are called to live. If other stuff is coming before your relationship with God, you probably need to do some serious rearranging in your life. If something besides God is your focal point for any decision that you make, then there is a problem. Everyone faces this in one way or other. It's called priorities. We all have a mental checklist we go through when we make decisions and are faced with the unknown. What's at the top of your list and where does seeking God for the answer fall in there?

The Prophetic - Part 2

(continued)

"Long periods of meditation in the presence of a holy God bring about a dynamic revelation of the roots of evil, the reasons for failure and the way to restoration and holiness."


"Prophets hear from God and speak the direct message that he receives in a variety of ways. These may include: a gradually unfolding consciousness of God's will, an audible voice, and internal voice, by seeing into the spiritual world, by visions or dreams."


"In most Old Testament cases, the prophetic office carried the attendant supernatural gift of working miracles."


"The prophet's ministry is revelatory, involving the past, present and future, and in this way manifests God's omniscience. In the Old Testament, prophets were known as seers, and were prominent in uncovering past facts and hidden things. The prophet will also receive revelation regarding future things. This is the quality that sets a true prophet apart from other ministries. While he will not have total knowledge of future things, he will generaly be used of God to convey predictions and revelations much more than other ministries will."


"This ministry, while based in the local church, is often 'released' for travelling ministry to the whole Body of Christ to assist the apostle to set the church in order. The prophet has no right to usurp authority in another local church, but if he is God-sent, his ministry will make way for him. The prophet frequently has an ability to cause change in people's hearts more than other ministries. This is due to the inspired nature, and direct revelation of both his message, and its manner of delivery."


"The ministry of the prophets has often emerged at times when there is a decline or degradation among God's people. Prophets aslo emerge at, and facilitate times of transition in the church."


"All believers may exercise the gift of prophecy, but not all are prophets. There are many in local churches who bring a word of prophecy on occasions who are not prophets. In fact all believers may exercise the gift, but the Lord has only given 'some' to be prophets. The person with the gift of prophecy is primarily concerned with edification, exhortation and comfort. The spiritual gift of prophecy is spasmodic in operation, while the prophetic office is permanent. A person may give a word of prophecy on an occasional basis, but a prophet will operate in his ministry regularly. Prophets may, and usually will also regularly manifest the gift of prophecy, though this will perhaps be exercised more regularly and to a greater degree than the average believer in a congregation."


"The signs of a prophet: he supports the apostle in establishing churches, he brings direction to the church, his ministry may expose sin, though in the New Testament this is primarily the responsibility of the apostle, he has revelation of the mysteries of God, he unveils new truth to the people of God, he pormotes the presence of God, his ministry in prophecy and preaching tend to be immediately inspired, he speaks for God in a personal way, he may predict future events or reveal hidden facts."

(To Be Continued)

Silly Fact (7)

Well, there isn't a silly fact for today, because I am too lazy to look one up. :-)

But, I found out today that I have a hilariously funny reporter voice. I was looking for a Christmas skit for my mom and I found this one with a reporter. I was cracking myself up reading it out loud. Yeah, I amuse myself.

The Storm

Have you ever been to Holiday World? Well, last year I went with a group of people from Church. I had my niece with me for the day. She is not afraid of anything, so she loved riding the roller coasters (but, only the small ones, because I hate those life threatening big ones), but I was paranoid the whole day that she would fall out of one. I would either hold her hand or put my arm around her just to be careful. She decided she wanted to go on the tallest water ride in the water park and the stairs to the slide are really high, but she didn't seem to have any problem with standing near the edge. I finally made her stand in the middle of the stairs away from the side, because she was making me dizzy (I hate heights).

But, near the end of the day, we were waiting in line to ride the Scrambler and I looked up and noticed that the sky was turning black in the distance. Clouds were rolling quickly towards us and the trees were bending from the winds that were picking up. People started to stampede. I knew there was no way for us to get back through the line to get out, so, I picked her up and put her over the wall behind us, then I climbed over. We ran up the yard and squeezed through some railing. She grabbed my hand and we headed up the hill. People were running and screaming. I watched as some people were trampled over. Trees were falling down and limbs were hitting people. I looked down and saw that my niece was terrified and crying. So, I picked her up and held her close, with my hand over her head so that she wouldn't get run over or hit with a tree limb. I went off into the grass and avoided the people running and I hurried to the top of the hill, praying the whole way. By the time we reached there, the sky was black and it began to rain down in sheets. I looked for a place to get cover and I noticed some people huddled in a game booth but I knew that wasn't safe, so I went inside a building. We went to the back of the building away from all of the windows and it took a while before my niece was willing to let me go so I could put her down. I checked her over and saw that her leg was bleeding, so I fixed her up and we found a place to sit. She just kept looking at me and wondering if her nanna was alright. When the storm calmed down and it was just raining, I picked her back up and hurried to the place our group was to meet. I wrapped her up in a towel when we got there and held her close until she calmed down.

Life is full of storms. Wether they are small or large, they are not very enjoyable. But, just like my niece who knew I wasn't going to leave her and I was going to take care of her no matter what, so we should be assured that Father will take care of us. He carries us and holds us and reassures us. He goes with us each step of the way and when the storm passes He is still there. So, whatever storm you may be facing, call on Father.

Peace

This weekend God has really taught me a huge lesson. My entire life I have been living worried about what others thought of me, especially my family. My grandparents are here this weekend and for the first time I didn't feel the need to explain or justify why I am doing what I am. I was dreading the questions of "why." Yet, I am not called to justify anything about myself. Every question that they have asked me is just a repeat of the questions they have asked my whole life. Now, I just tell them "God is in control." Even if everything around me says I am acting insanely and everyone thinks I have lost it, I have relinquished control. I am so happy. This is the happiest I have ever been in my life! I have peace and joy. All I know is God spoke and I listened. Wow - talk about laying it down. All I have to go on is the LORD's words and promises. It's a daily listening for direction. I cannot make plans of my own or try to take over. Every time I try, it is a mess. I think about the visions God has given me of my life and part of me is terrified because I have no stinkin' idea how any of it is going to happen. Yet, I have a supernatural peace that I can't begin to explain.


So, what do I have to tell you today? Do you long for peace in your life? Do you long for joy? Give it up!!! Stop trying! Let go and allow God to be God.

My God

The dust of the earth could not measure your splendor,
Every drop of ocean could not fathom your depth,

Your glory holds more majesty than the stars,
Your face is more precious than life itself,

The meaning of love is one glance from your eyes,
One word from your lips pierces the sky,

Your hands hold the strength of centuries,
Your feet are the roots of heaven,

You shake nations with your promise,
You broke darkness through your death,

How can I but surrender to this great God of mine.

Silly Fact (6)

Undertakers report that human bodies do not deteriorate as quickly as they used to. The reason, they believe, is that the modern diet contains so many preservatives that these chemicals tend to prevent the body from decomposition too rapidly after death.

EWWWWWWWW!!!! That's sick. There is something real freaky about preservatives.

The Rocks

I had a vision yesterday ....

I was standing on this beach. I was enjoying watching the waves crash against the shores and the sea gulls running along the beach. There were other people on the beach, but it took me a while before I noticed that these people were all facing the shores. Some of them were just standing there and others were sitting in the sand. Some of them were even lying down, asleep. I noticed someone walking down the line of them. He would stop in front of them and stand very still. He would stare at each person for several moments. But, the people didn't even seem to notice him standing there. Finally, he would turn and kneel down, picking up something off of the ground. He would look at the object in his hand and he would begin to weep. Then he would take the object and throw it as far out as I could see into the ocean. He did this with every person he came to.

I was completely puzzled until he came closer to me. I began to hear someone shouting. It was as if someone were shouting from a long way off, it was so faint, but I could still hear it. I looked around to see who it was, but none of the people around me seemed to hear the sound. I stood there, listening. I began to make out the words of the shout. "I NEED YOU!!!" What? Was someone hurt? Then I heard it again, but it was a different shout. "I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!" I looked around to see if anyone could be the one crying out, but no one was saying a word. Then I heard it again. "I HAVE TO HAVE YOU!!!"

Whoever it was sounded really desperate. I began to tune my ear to the sound and I tried to follow it, but it sounded as if it was coming from the direction in front of me, which was the ocean. So, I thought that maybe someone was drowning. Whoever it was needed help. So, I started to move towards the water but then I noticed that the shout sounded from the direction behind me. I was completely confused at this point. I turned around and frustrated, I bent down to the ground. Where was that shout coming from?

Then, it sounded much louder now. The shout was in front of me as I faced away from the ocean. I inched forward towards the sound and I stopped short. On the ground lay a stone. The shout was coming from it.

I didn't know what to think. This rock was screaming, "I NEED YOU!!!"

Then it clicked. I stood up and watched as the man held the object in his hand and tears streamed down his face. Then he took it and threw it into the ocean.

This stone .... the stones .... they were crying out .... but, why??? Then I remembered that old verse my mom used to quote when I was a little girl about the rocks crying out to the LORD if we did not.

The man was coming closer. He only had two more people to pass by before he came to me.

The realization of what was happening hit me with such a force I began to weep. Then through my tears I began to say, "I need you." It came out as just a whisper. "I need you." Again, just a whisper. "I need you!" I began to feel desperation rise up within me. "I need YOU!" Tears streamed down my face and I could hear the rock beside me crying out, "I NEED YOU!" I cried out again, "I need you!!!"

I crumbled to the ground on my knees with my arms wrapped around me. "I need you!!!" "I need you!!" "I have to have you!!!"

Again, I could hear the rock crying out and it was drowning out my cries.

I yelled out, "I NEED YOU!!!" I kept yelling it and every time my cry became louder than the stone's. It was as though every part of my being was screaming.

Suddenly, I felt a hand touch my shoulder. I gasped and looked up. It was the man who was throwing the rocks into the ocean. He looked into my face. A smile spread across his beautiful features and he began to laugh, tears of joy streaming down his face. He dropped to his knees and gathered me to him and held me.

He then picked me up and carried me into the water. He carried me as far out as he could and then he placed me in. Instantly I was surrounded by the ocean's waves and I got lost in its depths.

The depths. That is where He longs to take us. Cry out!!! Get desperate!!! Don't allow the rocks to cry out in your place.

FEAR

When I was in grade-school my dad was in the military. I can remember when I had to go to the hospital on the base for my check-ups and shots. First of all, I hate needles (with a passion - I HATE THEM) and I remember once when I had to have all of these shots for school. I can remember sitting in a room full of military men and women and just about passing out from a shot I was just given. I was embarrassed because they were all watching me, but I cannot handle shots. They had to take me into another room and let me lay down. There was this one time when I had to have a blood test done and I sat there, terrified. I did not want them to come near me with a needle and I really didn't like the thought of them drawing blood. But, one gentleman in uniform gave me a reasuring smile as he had his blood drawn and I felt a little better. As a little girl, I thought it strange that so many people from the military were at the hospital. I had thought that they were the "strong" ones who don't get sick or hurt. But, I was wrong. In fact, these people were more prone to get hurt than the average person.


As Christians, we are on the front-lines of battle every day. Especially those who are leaders and are following hard after God and His will. Even Christians get confused when they see their leaders get attacked because they have this idea in their minds that leaders don't get attacked. Wow - that is so not true. Being on the front-lines means that you ARE going to be attacked. The ones farther back are a little safer. Why do you think that the Bible says to "put on the whole armor?" God knows what we face every day. Jesus experianced what we experiance, so there isn't anything new under the sun that He doesn't know about. That is why He is telling us to "be ready" and "stand firm."


One plan of battle that was used a lot in the earlier centuries is for the front-lines to stand their ground. If you moved out of formation you could cause serious damage and even death to those fighting with you. But, seriously, the front-lines were the first ones to be attacked and the first ones to die. Imagine standing there as the enemy's army advances towards your lines ... you know that once they reach you, they will try to kill you ... your heart beats so loudly that it pounds painfuly in your ears along with the never ceasing sound of the drum beat of war ... you can barely make out the orders "HOLD!" ... every muscle in you wants to flee ... your knuckles turn white as you clutch your weapon ... sweat beads down into your eyes, bringing stinging tears that run down your cheeks ... STEADY! ... your legs feel rooted to the ground, your knees as weak as jelly ... STEADY! ... your breath comes out in painful shudders and you clamp your teeth shut fighting against the urge to faint ... the army advances ... STEADY! ... you can make out the forms and faces ... the ENEMY ... STEADY! ... you remember what you are fighting for ... HOLD! ... the ENEMY that has been destroying your family, your home, everything it can get its hands on ... HOLD! ... you feel the urge to fight rise up within you, spilling out into a battle cry as the final order of "CHARGE" is given. The Enemy's greatest tactic is fear. He will use it for all it's worth. Don't give in! Rise above it. You do not fight alone. The one you are fighting for will be right beside you. Don't allow the Enemy to destroy you and everything you love. Fight back.

2Ti 4:7 "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith."