WORSHIP

I used to think that life was filled with two lists, the "Do" and the "Don't" lists. Do this and you will receive this. Don't do that or this will happen. It was a constant battle of "following the rules of life" so to speak. But, one day I woke up and realized that there are no lists to follow, no rules. Then my life was all sunshine and daisies and I have been living happily ever after ever since. Well, actually it didn't happen that way and there are no daisies that happen to appear wherever I just so happen to be. Have you ever heard of the 10 commandments? When I was a kid there was this song that I learned to help me remember them. "Commandment number one, you shall have no other gods, you shall worship only me..." That song used to run constantly through my mind like one you have heard on the radio and it just didn't seem to want to leave. The song became something depressing as I began to realize that there was no "human" way to follow all 10 of those commands. Sure, the ones like "don't kill" weren't the ones I was worried about. It was that first commandment that really threw me for a loop. "You shall worship only me...." But, what is true worship? I honestly didn't know. I would watch during the "praise and worship" part of the Church service and I would see so many varieties and styles coming from different people that it didn't make any sense. I grew up in a military family and so I moved around a lot. Every new place that we moved to we would have to find a church to go to. Every church had a different way of worshipping. I don't remember any two being exactly alike. Some aspects of the worship was similar, but not identical. I was confused. I have always had a very presise and exact mind that didn't allow for anything that didn't make sense. Well, worship didn't make sense to me. Some pastors preached that worship was to be soft and solemn, while others said it was to be loud and extravagent. I didn't know how to worship. I would stand and watch people raise their hands and I would wonder why. I would watch the youth jump and dance and I was puzzled. The Bible said to clap and dance, but not everyone did that. The Bible also said to come reverently and with fear and trembling, but not everyone did that either. I spent so much time standing agape and scratching my head, that I missed out completely. I knew all of the songs, but they never really "touched" me. I would watch as a lady cried and smiled at the same time while singing Amazing Grace and I didn't feel a thing. I knew what the song meant, but I couldn't understand how the words to a song could affect someone in that way. None of it made sense. I was fascinated and I loved to watch other people "experiance God," but I simply didn't get it. But, I didn't even know what "experiencing God" was. I had heard evangelists on TV talk about it, but it had never happened to me. So, I spent years trying to "figure it out." Logically, none of it made sense. How could 300 people in the same worship service have so many different reactions? How could some lay in the floor, some dance, some weep, and some laugh all at the same time? I sure had no clue. I had never danced or cried during worship. Then one day I gave up trying to figure it out myself and for the first time I asked God a direct question. "How is it that even though we are all worshipping the same God, we can have so very different reactions to You?" Then something amazing happened. For the first time in my life, God gave me a vision. He said to look into the mirror. I did and at first nothing happened. But, He said to wait and watch. I did. My face began to change and I was no longer looking at myself. My first reaction was to be completely terrified and I had to look away. I started to cry and I sat on the floor praying. Then God said that there was nothing to be afraid of and to go back to the mirror. I did, eventually. I looked and again I was not looking at myself. God was showing me the faces of men and women all over the world from African American to Asian. I was filled with so much emotion that I was in awe. Then for the first time in my life something happened that I cannot and never will forget. God spoke in an audible voice. He said, "I am in them and they worship because they were created to do so." I can remember running from my room and to tell my parents what had happened. They looked at me as if I had lost it, but I didn't care. I knew what worship was. Worship is an outer reflection of the inner relationship with the Holy Spirit. It cannot be taught or understand by the human mind. True worship was created by the Father for the Father. Worship is not even worship unless it is to Him alone. Just think about it.