From the Start

But let all who put their trust in You rejoice; let them shout for joy forever, because You cover them. And let those who love Your name be joyful in You.

Psalm 5:11

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.

Proverbs 3:5

I met with a friend today, whom I haven't seen in a while, and we talked about a lot of things. The last thing I talked to her about was trust. I told her that it's easy for us to use the verse about God having to trust us in the small things before He can begin trusting us in the larger ones. But, yet we have such a hard time just trusting God in the small things. I had never really thought about that before, but it's so true. We can't just say that we trust God with our lives if we can't even trust what He is doing from day-to-day in our life. I truly believe that is one of the reasons that God only gives us as much as we can handle, because He wants us to trust Him completely and He is starting out small and working His way up. By how we react to Him in the small things will determine how we will react when He starts asking the huge stuff of us.

Come inside and write,

Oh, sweet heaven's chorus,

The tune of quiet space,

Prepare the chords of history,

Strike the first, let it play,

Creation's only melody,

Soft tones of music,
Each note a holding place.
Free this ancient song,
Let me sing,
True to the present,
Longing for home,

An upward cry of praise,

Love's own awakening,

The break of every day.

All this room in this place,

Such a waiting race,

Constantly changing,

Always the same,

Even stones have music,

Trees have their own dance.

I've found my first verse,

Each word a part of you,

Oh, face, you hold me,

Hands, you captivate,

Dear feet,

You teach me how to move,

A babe in daddy's arms,

A girl on his knee,

Little tunes you poured out,

I loved you even then.

Now you sing, beautiful,

You ask me to come,

My eyes are for you alone,

This soul is taken in,

Fresh harmony,

Don't let go,

My song I will finish,

With each sounded beat.

A Christmas Story

"A little boy returned from Sunday School with a new perspective on the Christmas story. He had learned all about the Wise Men from the East who brought gifts to the Baby Jesus. He was so excited he just had to tell his parents: "I learned in Sunday School today all about the very first Christmas! There wasn't a Santa Claus way back then, so these three skinny guys on camels had to deliver all the toys!" And Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with his nose so bright wasn't there yet, so they had to have this big spotlight in the sky to find their way around."
I thought this story was cute! :) Merry Christmas!!!

Teach Them

You know, I was going to write this huge post today on purity and all that, but you know what? I'm tired of talking. We TALK so stinking much! DO WE ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN WHAT WE ARE SAYING AND ACTUALLY DO IT OURSELVES???? I don't want to waste my time talking anymore. I'm going to put more action into what I say. I usually keep what I believe "on the down-low," but, right now, how can I afford to do that when this generation is going where it is? It makes me so upset to watch good Christian kids slip into the world, or in and out of it, which is the very familiar case of today's society. But, you know what, I don't blame them completely. Who do they have to look up to? They are only doing what they see acted out by people all over television and worse yet, in their lives. They don't even see a present standard of purity and holiness. Even the church today has been infiltrated with just plain junk. It makes me sick spiritually to watch godly people shrink back and allow the ungodly ones to rise up. But, you ask the ones who aren't 100% living for God and you know what they will say? "We don't have anyone to look to anymore, because the ones who used to, have all disappeared." WOW. Ok, huge wake up call! Let's stop putting down this rising generation and start finding out where in the world we have been hiding at. Are we afraid that they will rebel? Let me take a moment to laugh ........ still laughing ......... trying to control myself .......... ok, I think I will be fine now. WHERE IN THE WORLD HAVE YOU BEEN? IN A HOLE IN THE GROUND??! Come on, that's not a new concept. That has been going on from the time of ADAM & EVE for goodness sake. Spare the rod, spoil the child ...... seriously, this generation WANTS SOME STINKING GUIDANCE. But, we are so worried that they "will be upset and not like me and not think I am the coolest parent/person/friend/whatever anymore," um, no matter how much you try to please them, it's NOT going to happen. Kids, teens, whatever, are no longer afraid of people over them. WE have become afraid of THEM? Where in the world did that twisted mindset come in and invade? What, some Dude wrote a book called "Let Them Do What They Want and When You Are Old and Grey They Will Thank You For Letting Them Do Drugs & Have Sex"?????!!!! Yes, I said the word. For goodness sake, if you haven't got a clue yet, when will you? You are afraid to talk to your kids/teens about this stuff, but I promise you they know a whole lot more than any human being has a right to know. Stop being afraid. This generation needs you. They are trying to figure this whole thing called "life" out on their own and they can't. They need you to help them. A baby can never learn to talk if it is never spoken to and never taught. A child can never learn to read unless they are taught to. A teen will never know how to LIVE if they are never shown what the true meaning of life is. Living isn't about "experiancing," it's about learning. You want this generation to experiance EVERYTHING? Why? So, they can be found wasted on a street corner somewhere half dead and alone? OR do you want them to learn? In order for them to learn, they need YOU to teach them. I know I am being a little rough, but if that's what it takes, then that's what it takes for you to understand. If you want to stop seeing the junk going on that has been, then you need to step in.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

(Proverbs 22:6)

Friend

When I was 13 yrs. old, one of my friends committed suicide. The day I found out what had happened changed my life. I can remember feeling shocked, then sick.... I couldn't understand. He was such a wonderful person. He was always so polite and kind to everyone. I worked with him and my mom cleaning the elementary school in the evenings. He was always so quiet. He was a few years older than me, but he never treated me like I was younger. I loved to be around him because he always knew how to make people smile. But, he never let people get beyond a point and he only let people know him "so far". The last year he was alive, people were so cruel to him. He was hurt so much. He started saying things that weren't like him and doing things he had never done before. His parents found a note in his room where he had shot himself. He apologized and said he felt alone and that he was a disappointment to everyone.
The day it was officially announced at the school, I remember everyone sitting in the chapel for hours as we prayed. I looked around at the shocked faces and I was angry at the ones who had always been so mean to him, some of them didn't even look like they cared. It took God for me to forgive them. I couldn't go to his funeral....

That same year, I made friends with a girl who was in my same class. She had been abused her whole life. She became one of my close friends. She would call me in the middle of the night crying on the phone as she told me the nightmares she was having of her past. Everyone made fun of her. They called her names and I can remember countless times when I would catch her hidden in a stall in the bathroom floor, crying. I was so afraid for her, because I had just had one friend take his life. She threatened to take hers....

During all of this, I had another friend. She was the most popular girl in school (typical cheerleader). She was my best friend. She was the one who made me realize that even friends can hurt you. She told me I had to choose between her and my abused friend because it was "embarassing for her best friend to be friends with someone like that". It was hard because I couldn't understand why anyone would ask someone to do that and how anyone could be so cruel. I told her that I couldn't just give up on my other friend because she needed me. Then I found out that my "best" friend was doing drugs, among other stuff. When she found out that I knew, that's when the lies started and the rumors spread. I told her I couldn't be her friend anymore and that I would have to tell what she was doing, so she started to spread rumors about me so that "people wouldn't believe me" is how she put it. I was in a Christian school. You can imagine what "bad rumors" will do in a place like that. I started getting threatening and disgusting notes and letters stuck in my locker and back-pack from all sorts of people in the school. I went home every day and locked myself in my room and read books. I would read up to and sometimes more than three books a day to forget everything. My so called "best friend" would call me and tell me she was sorry almost every night and then when I would get to school she would inform me that I would "never get a clue" and she would ask me to stay away from her. I used to sit alone in the back of the lunch room and pray and my "friends" would throw paper airplanes at me with mean notes written all over them. I was too embarassed to tell the teachers or my parents about any of what was going on until my mom finally found out and the mess got even bigger.

I stopped talking to people. I started questioning God until He started speaking to me....
He became my best friend. He never hurt me and He always loved me.

Why am I saying all of this....I never really have before. I don't talk about my life before and up to 4 yrs. ago to people. But, right now, I am beyond being embarassed and I really feel like there is someone who needs to hear this. No matter how bad things get, you will make it through. I only told you a small part of my life. What happened during just those few years have affected who I am today. Would I have changed or traded a moment? No. It all had to happen. I've learned lesson upon lesson. I've also learned what it means to be a friend. So, if nothing else, I hope you take away from this the importance of REAL friends. Don't be fake. There are people that need you. And even if you are the one who feels completely alone....you aren 't.

"Many there be which say of my soul, There is no help for him in God.
But thou, O LORD, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head.
I cried unto the LORD with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill.
I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the LORD sustained me."

Psalm 3:2-5

Psalm 107:21-31

Have you ever felt a supernatural peace that you couldn't explain? That no matter what was going on around you and no matter what people thought or said, you couldn't shake the feeling of God's hand upon the ship's wheel? In the storm, the disciples couldn't feel that peace the day the storm rocked the boat. They chose to see the storm rather than the one who calms the storm. When Jesus calmed the winds and the rain, they realized what they had done. They had surrendered to the fear of not being in control rather than trusting in the one who is. How many times have we done that? We tend to lose ourself in our fear of the storm. We clutch to whatever can steady us as the boat rocks back and forth. We cry out for help when the Captain is standing beside us, one steady hand on the wheel, the other reaching out to calm us. He can see the end of the storm in the distance. All we can see is the storm and we lose faith in making it through. Rather than worry about what you are being guided through, why not trust in the one who is guiding?

Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!
And let them sacrifice the sacrifices of thanksgiving, and declare his works with rejoicing.
They that go down to the sea in ships, that do business in great waters;
These see the works of the LORD, and his wonders in the deep.
For he commandeth, and raiseth the stormy wind, which lifteth up the waves thereof.
They mount up to the heaven, they go down again to the depths: their soul is melted because of trouble.
They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, and are at their wits' end.
Then they cry unto the LORD in their trouble, and he bringeth them out of their distresses.
He maketh the storm a calm, so that the waves thereof are still.
Then are they glad because they be quiet; so he bringeth them unto their desired haven.
Oh that men would praise the LORD for his goodness, and for his wonderful works to the children of men!

Psalm 107:21-31

Who Is To Come

I will not rest,

I will not go until it's done.

The world around me, it surrounds me

and all I know is what's to come.

The lingering shadows test me now,

my ears can hear their sounds.

My eyes sting and I can see them,

those of whom I love.

My legs cannot hold me,

yet I continue on.

Every moment's agony

is a single won destiny.

Every drop of blood,

a heart yet to beat.

Heavenly hosts surround me,

they long to draw their swords.

They dare not even touch me,

their existence is my words.

Until I say it's finished,

it is not yet done.

I will face this death,

since it has begun.

I look upon the future,

I see each face, each soul.

I swallow the blood and drink it,

this is my cup, all my own.

One last breath I take,

the shadows gather now.

I hear their rising shouts

as my spirit's taken down.

I stand before the dark one,

he who lost his place.

On earth he thought he had destroyed me,

but now he sees my face.

He looks into my eyes

and sees the truth that is there.

He faces his defeat

as his lost grip is bared.

The one who thought he had won.

Will he ever understand?

I am He was and is and is still to come.

The Lion of Judah

"And one of the elders said to me, Do not weep. Behold, the Lion being of the tribe of Judah, the Root of David, overcame so as to open the scroll, and to loose its seven seals."

Revelations 5:5